Thursday, March 4, 2010

day two

I'm taking my sobriety seriously this time. I'm gonna be 25 in 13 days. It's time to start acting like an responsible adult. There are plenty other things that I take immense pleasure in besides drinking...cuddling, eating, latchwork, playing and listening to music (I really want to get a guitar), writing, blogging, etc. The one person I wish I could talk to about this wouldn't understand. My fiance, Fred, drinks too much as well. He is very much dependent and equally as much, in denial. He has to hit his rock bottom at some point though. This has to be independent of Fred. I am seeking online support. I work 2nd shift so I can't make any of the AA meetings in my area. If I could, it would be only on my days off. Somehow I don't think it works like that. If anyone knows a good website or community, let me know.

Yesterday, I slept okay and woke up feeling somewhat energized. Today I have a headache that won't go away and just feel sluggish. Fred couldn't get to sleep last night as well. He was tossing and turning, driving me nuts.

Omg, I just had a complete asshole. He was a preferred. I guess he thinks his shit don't stink. I had told him that I couldn't upgrade him. We are extremely shorthanded right now. Then he comes back and says he can't find the car. I did explain to him clearly and concisely where exactly it was before he left the first time. He took a business card and said he wanted to speak to my manager. Oooh, I'm really scared. NOT! Just irritated cuz it's the first 72 hours which are said to be the most difficult. I probably do need anger management though. There is just a lot of shit that I'm mad about. I suppress; I don't express. Simple enough. I guess I have to work on expressing it safely.

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